A few weeks ago my engagement ring was lost. It doesn't matter how or who. The important thing is that it has taught me a lesson.
No, not to be more careful with my things, but thank you for the reminder.
If you're married, think back to the time when you first got engaged. It was an exciting time, wasn't it? Just the thought of definitely becoming someone's wife, of relating to another person in a way you will never relate to another, to think of setting up home, and starting a family is enough to make any girl heady.
And then comes the ring.
There is a lot of mystery surrounding the engagement ring. What exactly will it look like? How big will the diamond be? When will he give it to me? How has he planned to propose? Should I say yes right away? So many things to consider and dream about.
And then you get the ring.
The engagement ring is so full of promise. It's proof that a man wants you. He will spend lots of money (as much as he can reasonably go without) to prove this to you. The engagement ring is a symbol of his desire to make you his and his alone. It is sparkly. It is shiny. It is attractive to the eye. You can't stop looking at it a million times a day, and showing it to everyone else, no matter how many times they've already seen it.
And then you are married.
You receive a wedding band, which is the real symbol of your belonging to one other person and him alone. It's usually a very simple circle of metal that kind of rides along the coattails of the the engagement ring. It's never really something you show to other people because you are so proud of it. It's just kind of there.
But since I lost my engagement ring I have looked, I mean really looked at my wedding band. At first it was because my finger looked so weird. I was not used to having such a simple ring on that finger. But the more I looked at it, the more I realized something. It's pretty! It has a glittery sparkle to it, though much different than my diamond had. I really, really like it. A lot.
And the more I look at it, the more I realize it is truly a symbol of my marriage. There are little dings and scratches in the surface from when I haven't acted carefully enough, and have banged it around. You can't see them unless you look closely, but they're there. And yet they don't take away from its beauty. And, it fits like a glove. It's comfortable. It makes me feel good knowing its there.
And it's also the more important of the two rings anyway. My wedding ring still lets people know (at a glance) that I am taken. Not so with just an engagement ring. An engagement can be broken. A simple removal and return of the ring ends an engagement. Removing a wedding ring doesn't end a marriage.
So I have lost some things. I have lost my engagement ring. The diamond that belonged to my mother. And the little diamonds that were bought and set just for me.
But I have also found some things. I have found a new appreciation for this symbol of my love for J-Man. I have been reminded that the engagement ring only represents a temporary time, but the wedding band is a symbol of the lasting love we share. And the strength of my marriage to J-Man is more important than any diamond, any problem, any dings and scratches that might come along. And it's still beautiful.
So if I see you around, I just might make you stop and take a look at my wedding band.