I Chronicles 29:11 "Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty:for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all."

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Casually Feminine: Hair Everywhere Edition

Hair. Hairhairhairhairhairhairhair. Prepare for another long post.

There is LOTS of debate about hair length among Christian circles in this day and age. I do not believe one needs to have hair to their waist in order to be feminine, or obedient to God. I do believe that one looks feminine in the way they style their hair, and yes, cuts that are super short all around look very masculine, so personally I would stay away from those.

I think if you're a woman, you ought to look like one from any angle. Including the back. Someone shouldn't have to see lipstick and mascara to know you're not a man. (Well, in this day and age that might not even be a deciding factor...) Although I have had some short haircuts in my day. And no, I will not be posting those pictures. Unless you beg. Hard.

Onto the discussion!

I have often thought when I wake in the morning and look in the mirror: "My hair doesn't look so bad. Yay me! I'm getting off easy today!"

And then I get dressed. After I have normal clothes on, the hair starts looking worse. Add the finished made-up face, and yep- the hair needs help.

See, believe it or not, my hair is naturally very curly. Very curly. It's not like black women's hair, but it is very curly. And many times when I wake in the morning, it is also unruly to say the least. Before I get into my hair routine, let me share some thoughts on why having well-groomed hair is important.

Your hair gives people a very definite first impression of who you are. From the cut and color to the style, people get a glimpse of the real you when they look at your hair. Maybe you've seen people with bright orange (or neon) hair and you can tell, before they even speak a word, that they are outgoing. They want attention.
Maybe you've seen a woman who wears her hair in a tight bun at the back of their head every day. You can tell this person is all about business. No messing around, no time to wipe bangs out of her eyes, she needs to get things done.
Other women find some new thing to do with their hair all the time. Styles, clips, braids, straightened, they always look chic and pretty. These women show they care about their appearance, and know hair plays a big part of an overall image.

Some women wear a ponytail every. single. day. And it doesn't matter if it matches their clothing or not. They find one in the bathroom (or on the floor of the hallway) and toss their hair up. Done. Or they have it in a half/pony bun with little bits sticking out all over the place. This look says 'I have neither the time nor desire to do anything with this mop on my head.'
Even if your clothes look nice, this kind of hair style detracts from it and ends up making you look sloppy. I believe making our hair attractive is a very small thing we can do to make our husband happy. Even if they tell you your hair is fine, they may not know they like the put-together look until you start doing it!

So, if you are a person who doesn't like to mess with your hair, let me recommend you get a low-maintenance 'do. Find a good stylist, ask their opinion on what fits your face, and get at it. And low maintenance doesn't mean a butch cut either. There are plenty of casually feminine options!

What does your hair say about you?

Now, with this naturally curly hair of mine, it gets put up in a clip, ponytail, or claw clip about every other day. Because at some point the sheer thickness of it makes me sweaty on my neck, and needs to be contained. However, curly hair has the benefit of a ponytail that doesn't look sloppy. It looks put-together and cute.

Why do I resort to this? I don't shower every day. Curly hair needs prodding and coaxing to do its thing. And it works best when using product on wet hair. Lots of product.

I am growing my hair out at the Prince's request, (even though I think it makes my face look fat) so I'm using more product than in the past. My favorites right now are Garnier Fructis Curl Defining Spray. They may not make it anymore, since I can't find it on their website. But I brought a lot of bottles with me. I spray about fifteen squirts into my hand, rub my hands together, then scrunch it through wet hair. Then I spray another ten squirts, and do it again. Then I follow up with a handful of mousse. (I don't have a favorite brand.) When my hair air dries (and assuming I haven't run my fingers through it a million times seeing if it is indeed dry) I have defined, un-frizzed curls.

Good deal.

I throw a headband in it, sometimes straighten my bangs, and I am good to go all day.

Here are some links to hair-related things:
Styles for LONG hair
Curly Hair Help

Can we talk about other hair now?

Some women have a hard time keeping facial hair under control. I know it's a hormonal issue, and can be embarrassing. Maybe you have a hard time with it. Maybe not. However, I believe in the "hair" post, this deserves a mention. Please don't be offended if you have one of the following issues. I'm here to help. Really.

Ever seen a woman with either of these problems?
I think the one on the right is a photoshop job, personally.

It's not really what I would call attractive, or feminine. I can't imagine me letting my facial hair get to this point, and the Prince not calling me on it. Honestly? It's gross. I have seen a woman like this, and I wonder why no one in her family has told her she "has a little somethin' on her chin".

There are many options. Plucking before it gets anywhere near this point. That's a totally viable option for me. I only have three hairs that grow on my chin, and they never get past a millimeter or so. If you're going to pluck a unibrow, make sure you do it in the evening (when you know you won't be going anywhere) and ice it afterward to prevent swelling and redness the next day. I don't have a problem with a unibrow, but I do pluck my regular eyebrows, so that's how I know about all that.

Waxing is another choice (but was invented by the Devil, so I would never do that. Ever again). Especially on my face. I tried it on my legs once, and it is WAY too painful!! Maybe I am just a big wuss...I know there are women who wax often and wouldn't do anything else. Not me

If you have unlimited funds, then perhaps a more invasive treatment like electrolysis or laser would be an option for you. These can be quite costly, however, since you must go back for months or even years to get rid of all the hair. And laser may not result in total permanent hair removal. Something to consider, eh?

If the hair is minimal and on your upper lip, I would recommend bleaching. I have never tried this before, but I have recently noticed some of the hair around the perimeter of my lips looks darker in the sunlight. I'm thinking of doing this to eliminate the worry of someone else seeing it. Anyone have a favorite brand?

And of course there is leg hair and armpit hair...and they need taken care of. It's really an American thing to shave all that stuff off. Did you know that? Here in South Africa, there are plenty of (black African) women I've seen who rarely, if ever, take care of it. It's just not cultural to do so.

If your hubby wants it gone, get rid of it. If he doesn't care, then do what you want. And that goes for the nether regions too. I'm not even going to get into that today.

Let me clarify that, or ever.

So, I hope this was a helpful post. Better than last week's where I just pretty much told you my situation and offered no help at all. I have since made a pajama pants tutorial that you can check out at your leisure.

Pop on over to Brenda's and see what everyone else has to say. It'll be good for you. I promise.


  • Brenda

    That sloppy pony tail thing? I would NEVER do such a thing. (How did you get my picture?) :)

    My hair looks like a french twist. I put it up and take it down 20 times a day. My hair is getting too long b/c it's heavy and so I take the clip out but when I need to DO something, up it goes.

    The pics are great and really added a lot to the post. I won't bed for your pics b/c I'm not posting mine. :)

  • karly

    This was a great post, Julie! And can I just say that I agree with you? The devil DID invent waxing. While pregnant with my oldest, my upper lip hair was darker than normal (those hormones make everything, including the baby, grow) and so I decided wax. Never again. I am sure I removed the top layer of my lip. I looked awful for weeks!

  • Q

    Oh Oh Oh! Curly hair needing lots of product! I have something for you to try. If your hair is long enough, before you go to bed spray it with a water bottle and get it damp. Scrunch in some conditioner from the ends on up to about 3" away from your head. Braid it and go to sleep. See what you have when you get up in the morning and take the braid out. I just discovered this method and need zero product AND have romantically curly, feminine hair in the mornings now. Viva la Curl!

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