I love email. Really, I do. I love it that I can write something that is on my mind and heart, share it with a friend thousands of miles away, and have them write back to me, sometimes even in the same day.
The problem with email comes when I don't have time to respond. Sometimes I don't feel like writing back to people, but most times I'm just hopping on quick to check my messages, and not really taking time to respond to everyone.
This causes issues because then every time I check my email, those messages that I haven't responded to yet haunt me. They stare and beckon me with large, dark lashes to write even a quick note to let the person (who took the time to email me and obviously cares about me) know that I am ok, and answer their questions.
I hate that.
I wish that I didn't feel an all-consuming urge to respond with a letter-length reply to every email I receive. One liners, or short, rapid-fire catch-up sentences just seem cheap to me. Like the person on the receiving end deserves more.
More of my time, more details about what's going on with us, more glimpses into our everyday life, more...something...that I don't have time to give. (Hey, don't I have a blog for that? So why all the self-directed pressure?)
So- if you are a person who emails me, and I haven't responded in a timely manner, please know that I am waiting for the day when I can sit and write some long-winded, witty, pleasant letter that will update, entertain, and astound you.
And since it doesn't look like that will happen any time soon, let me apologize in advance if your email sits in my inbox, (and I've already ready it!) and collects dust for three or four weeks before I get the nerve to delete it without responding.
It's not that you aren't important to me; you are. And I wish I could just say "Hey, thanks for the email. You are awesome for thinking of me and I appreciate you." but I can't. It's like I think all the people who would receive that reply will compare notes and find out I say that to everybody.
And somehow that makes me nervous. But I guess that would be better than no reply at all. Right? Then again, what do I know? I convince myself people are expecting long replies, comparing notes about what I say to them, and wondering when I don't reply if I have suddenly turned against technology or something.
Does anyone else have these issues? Please say it isn't just me...
And if this post was weird for you today, well, you're in good company. It was weird for me too. Rambly, and I'm not sure what place it's coming from...
I just don't have time to figure that out today.