I Chronicles 29:11 "Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty:for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all."

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Worst Christmas Movie- EVER!!

I don't know if you've ever seen this movie, and if you have- I sincerely apologize. It is by far the WORST Christmas movie I have ever seen. Here it comes....wait for it...wait for it...

A Mom For Christmas
Starring Olivia Newton-John!!


Now, I don't know who the other people in the movie are, but it's not important. What is? The plot. And I know you'll think I'm making this up, but even I'm not that warped. Let me recap for you.

1. A man and wife have a baby.
2. The wife dies.
3. The father is so grieved he loses touch with said baby who is now a growing girl.
4. The girl goes to the mall and stares at mannequins and people shopping. Every day.
5. Said girl is a nerd and makes a wish for a Mom for the holidays.
6. "Santa" makes her wish come true and makes a mannequin come to life.
7. The mannequin can only be alive for two days and then she gets recycled.
8. The dad and mannequin fall in love. (only he doesn't know she's a mannequin)
9. On her last night "alive", she is being sucked back to the store by a strange wind, and the Dad and daughter follow her.
10. They have to hold onto her (as a mannequin) and at midnight she magically appears and stays alive forever with them and they presumably live happily ever after.

In between those major plot points are times when the mannequin (Newton-John) and the daughter sneak into the store to talk with the other mannequins, they get a Santa statue to come to life and sneak him out of the store to be in a play, then he gets hit by a car and is dashed to pieces, then magically fixed by the mannequin (Newton-John) and some lawn ornament elves and carolers. So weird!!

Like I said, even I'm not that warped. Do you know this movie? Has it given you bad dreams? I mean, I always thought my Barbies came to life at night after I was asleep, and this movie just proves that, doesn't it?

Any thoughts? At all?

I'm not sure when it was made, but they aired it last year on ABC Family. And judging from the crappy soundtrack and "wickedly awesome gnarly" clothes, I would guess the 80s.

Sorry you missed it, 'cause it's not available on video or DVD. Shucks.

Now I don't know WHAT I'll get you for Christmas.

5 Comments:

  • Mary

    Sit down. You need to prepare yourself for this answer.

    Have I seen it?

    Not once - many times.

    So, I am weird and warped - and clearly my children are too - as they requested to see it many times.

    Stay sitting as there is definitely more sad news on its way.

    It is SO available on video.

    Don't ask me how I know!

    1990 was a tough year for me ;)

  • Aunt Bossy

    Wasn't there also an Andrew McCarthy movie about a mannequin that came to life? And another one with Anthony Michael Hall and a robot? Someone at the studio must've had a thing for fake women...

    And as truly terrible as this movie sounds, I may have seen a competitor in the "Worst Christmas Movie Ever" contest. It aired on TV last year, and it was about two daughters of Santa Claus, one who left the North Pole and kind of forgot who she was, and another evil sister who stayed and started auctioning off pieces of the North Pole to make extra money. And of course the good sister found True Love and there were cute kids and eventually she realized who she was and came back and at the end she asked everyone to BELIEVE really hard and they did and saved Christmas.

    Plot: lame
    Acting: lame
    Dialoge: way lame
    Ending: so incredibly lame I wanted to throw something at the television

    But it was UB's grandmother's TV, so I couldn't. And to make the experience even more painful: Grandma, who had seen the movie before, kept trying to explain the plot to us--as if it weren't transparent enough--except she kept getting the characters mixed up. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!

    (Find a happy place, find a happy place...) :-)

  • Brenda

    Yes Aunt Bossy and my how quickly you thought of those. There was also one with Tyra Banks. I think she was an actual Barbie Doll Julie. Sorry to freak you out.

    I will stay away from this movie. I'm a fan of the Die Hard trilogy this time of year. :)

  • impromptu-mom

    Oh Good Gravy!
    How I loathed that movie!

    Actually I'm pretty grinchy about any holiday movie that was produced before 1960.

    Bring on Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye!

  • JulieMom

    Mary- I will refrain from commenting, but I think your loyalty to a famous Aussie is commendable.

    Aunt Bossy- Wow. I mean, wow.

    Brenda- That sounds entirely too frightening. I may have nightmares about what I don't know.

    Impromptu- I'm with you! I love the old movies. White Christmas anyone?

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