I Chronicles 29:11 "Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty:for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all."

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

When It's Time For A Change...

...You can count on JulieMom to guide you through it step-by-step.

An epidemic has been plaguing my house lately. It affects people's ability to change a toilet paper roll. I thought this may also be a world-wide epidemic and figured I could do a Public Service Announcement to help all those who may be struggling in this area. Don't be ashamed. We all learn new things. When you can add this to your repertoire you will be that much closer to being a contributing member to your family and society at large.

Join me as I share:

How To Change A Toilet Paper Roll

1. The first step down the road to successful toilet paper roll changing is to realize there is no more paper on the current roll, and to be determined to change that. Be so determined that you'll do it before another person has the chance to be caught without any. The photo below is exactly what an empty toilet paper roll looks like. Memorize this so you'll know when it's empty in the future.

2. Firmly grip the plastic (or metal or whatever) tube the roll is situated on. Push the end of the plastic (or metal or whatever) tube in your hand toward the middle. This will loosen the tube and allow you to remove the empty roll.

3. Move your hand forward to get the empty roll and tube away from the holder attached to the wall. Maneuver your hand over top of your garbage bin.

4. Tilt your hand downward at a slight angle so the empty roll slides off the tube and into the garbage bin. If you miss, pick it up and place it in the bin yourself. DO NOT LEAVE IT ON THE FLOOR.

5. While keeping the plastic (or metal or whatever) tube in your hand, find a new, full toilet paper roll. Look in the linen closet, or any other place where the Toilet Paper Fairy may hide some new ones.

6. Grab a new, full roll and head back to the bathroom, with the plastic (or metal or whatever) tube still in your hand.
I realize these are sideways. They wouldn't go upright.

7. Place the new, full toilet paper roll on your thigh. Insert the plastic (or metal or whatever) tube into the top of the hole in the middle of the new, full roll. Turn the plastic (or metal or whatever) tube upward at an angle as you lift so the new, full roll is in the middle of the plastic (or metal or whatever) tube.

8. Carefully position the new, full roll so that when you attach it to the holder stuck on the wall, the paper will come over the top to be removed and not from the bottom. Because everyone knows people who pull the toilet paper from the bottom are of inferior intelligence. Don't let that be you.
9. Find the little knob on one end of the plastic (or metal or whatever) tube and insert it in the right side of the holder attached to the wall.

10. Push the end in your hand toward the middle, and line up the knob on the other end. Slowly let go and watch it slide into place.
11. Give the roll a whirl to make sure you've got the knobs inserted correctly. Lord knows the next person to use the roll doesn't want it popping off and rolling clear across the floor where they can't reach it.

12. If you've done it correctly, give yourself a pat on the back, knowing you have done a great service to your family and anyone else that may visit your toilet in the near future. Repeat this as often as necessary.

Any other ideas for epidemics I can address in my Public Service Announcements? I am ready and willing to accept any and all suggestions. Let me know what's plaguing your house!

5 Comments:

  • impromptu-mom

    Obviously, your preference for paper over the top shows just how unsophisticated your mind is. I am not surprised that you can not understand the subtle beauty and complexity of design that is "paper from the bottom". I'll have to school you the same way I did my husband.
    *raises her haughty nose in the air*

  • Brenda

    Yes you don't want it popping off and rolling across the floor where you can't reach it. Beacuse if you try to grab the end of the mile-long unrolled tp and fish it in by pulling it hand over hand towards you, it will only unroll more all the way across the floor.

    Not that I know.

  • JulieMom

    impromptu-mom: You know you just proved your inferior intelligence. Don't you???

    brenda: Yeah, I wouldn't know either.

  • MaryD

    Oh my word, this is just the tutorial I need to show my household!! Send the TP fairy over too, 'cuz she keeps forgetting to buy more.

  • Carolee's Corner Canary Islands

    I thought about writing a similar post on my blog--thanks for beating me to it! Why does it seem that moms are the only ones who really know how to do it?

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