I Chronicles 29:11 "Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty:for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all."

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

...And A Floor Show to Boot!!

A Weird 80s Leotard Tribe

I cannot say yet that my body aches for the gym. I cannot 'truthfully' shout from the rooftops that: "Hey People! I LOVE working out!!!" But I'm getting there. I am up and ready to go usually before the Prince. And that's saying something. And today, I was rewarded with a discovery that makes the whole trip worth it. (Well, you know, besides the whole getting healthier thingamajig.)

[Can you believe thingamajig DIDN'T show up in spell check?!?]

Let me set the stage, ok? The Prince and I do our cardio every other day (thank God). Today when I was going to the stair machine after my ten minute treadmill extravaganza, I noticed a class. I have noticed this before, but tried not to stare. The stair machine I use is against the wall by the air vents. You know, away from people. It faces the side of an exercise room that has clear sound proof glass walls, so I can see in and people can see out.

And let me tell you, it's SO entertaining.

I usually get to the stair machine somewhere in the middle of the 'routine'. Most of the women are sweating a bit, and some have stopped and are taking long swigs of water from their water bottles. BUT there are a few people still moving a grooving. They would be:

1. The teacher. She's still high kicking and laughing and encouraging others. The outfit she's wearing doesn't seem to be bothering her at all. She MUST be on amphetamines.

2. The over-achiever. This woman wants to be the teacher. She's lean. She's mean. She's an aerobics machine. Whenever the teacher says "Four more, three more, two more..." this woman yells out "Please Ma'am may I have another!" She never breathes heavily. She lives for exercise.

3. The old lady. This woman comes done up in full make-up straight from the hairdresser. She doesn't pay attention to anything the teacher says. She's old. She's lucky to have made it up the stairs without winding herself. She grooves to her own tune, kicking and flailing at randomly spaced intervals, and the teacher ignores her. But I don't. She's entertaining!

4. The super fat lady. Sure, she doesn't kick as high as the others. She doesn't run, per se, but she's moving. She doesn't go all out, so she has the energy to NOT STOP in the middle. Sure she's breathing heavy and sweating like it's going out of style, but it's commendable, really. She's in the class, I'm not. 'nough said. You go girl.

Then there's my favorite:

5. The lady with no rhythm. I love to watch this woman. She looks confused most of the time, because the pace of the class is such that she never catches on to the moves before a new one starts. She's going left while everyone else is going right. She's kicking when others are squatting. She's standing still most of the time because she doesn't have a clue what's going on.

And it makes my time on the stair machine go by so quickly!!

I wish the treadmills faced that class too.


  • WendyMom

    Oh my, yes! I too have seen this one at the gym.

    My favorite is this one guy who literally shouts, yells, pumps his fists, and plays the air drums to the music HE is listening to on HIS ipod-- not the stuff pumped in through the gym speakers, mind you. All whilst he is running, yes I said RUNNING, on the elliptical machine.

    In the front row.


  • Mary

    I seem to have developed Alzheimer's since my last gym visit. Hold on... I think... No! Hold on .... I think, maybe I might have been the old lady - No! The overweight lady .. Mmmmm. Oh my, I wasn't the trainer - was I?

  • MaryD

    Hi, I am #5 the lady with no rhythm. I can't even keep up with the hokey pokey or itsy bitsy spider at preschool. This would be why I do NOT go to the gym, or any exercise classes. Wendymom; remember aerobics at OLM?? Please keep the laughter inside your head. LOL

  • Aunt Bossy

    HILARIOUS! This is why I love you, oh my snarky sister.

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