I Chronicles 29:11 "Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty:for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all."

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

How To Succeed At Business

(Without even trying!)

Are you tired of trying your best at work only to be outdone by the "other guy"? Have you been consistently passed over for promotions? Do you know you're worth more than what you're being paid and need help proving it?

If you answered a resounding 'YES!' to any of the above questions, then we at BiznessJunk™ can help you break out of the work slump you're in and rise to the top! The products and services we offer can help you succeed! Let us take just a moment to demonstrate.

Style Seal Umbrella®
Have you had your hair recently styled so you look like a successful executive (even if you work in the mail room) only to have a summer rain storm ruin it before you've walked two blocks? Well worry no more! With the Style Seal® Umbrella, you can walk to work in confidence, no matter what the weather! Always wanted to wear a suede suit but unsure you can arrive at the office unscathed? Let the Style Seal® Umbrella put those fears to rest!

And don't forget the Mini Style Seal® Umbrellas for your shoes!!

Are you ready to rise to the challenge of an office golf match? No? Well, let us here at BiznessJunk™ whip your putting skillz into shape with the:

USB Business Golf Pro®
When you finish your work, or just need a break from the daily grind, you can plug in the mini putting green, and try again and again to get a hole in one! Of course this trains you for full-size golf courses as well. The grass is the same color, the club is the same shape, and you can be confident, just like sitting at your desk during training. Have no fear! USB Business Golf Pro® is here!

Do you suffer from incontinence? Well, fear office accidents no more! With our patented Potty Brief 8000® you can discreetly make your escape into a nearby supply closet and 'take care of business'. We also offer the added protection of our moisture guard undies that send a signal like the ring of a cell phone to your 'briefcase' (at the first sign of leakage) so the call of nature looks like an important business call!
Potty Brief 8000®

Are there things you are longing to do at work but not sure whether they are office appropriate? If you order our book of office etiquette, Things Not to Do at Work©, you'll never do the wrong thing. This book is loaded with activities to avoid so you don't look like the office idiot. Some examples of our promotion-earning advice:

Don't let your hobbies take over your cube.

Don't give the boss cutesy office supplies as gifts.

Don't use office supplies as an outlet for your crazy.

Don't host your bachelor party during office hours.

Don't let boredom get the best of you.

All of us here at BiznessJunk™ thank you for your time and hope you order soon!

3 Comments:

  • Huse Blog is it Anyway?

    those are funny!!

    I saw your comment on Brenda's page and yes....I was waiting for Lorelai to walk for FOREVER!! She was 14 months, which isn't horrible, but with a 40 pound baby on my hip, it felt like seven years.

  • Miss Jocelyn

    Hello there! I'd like to invite you to check out the new blogger "writing assignments" school at the Homeschool Blog Awards site, called Blogger Class Mates! It's just starting today and we hope you will stop over and join us!

    You can go here for more info: http://homeschoolblogawards.com/2008/08/blogger-class-mates/

    Blessings to you!
    Miss Jocelyn

  • Mary

    Mmmmmm!

    VERY INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!

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