I Chronicles 29:11 "Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty:for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all."

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Deep Thought Thursday: Accountability

I need accountability. I need it desperately.

But I hate it.

I don't like other people telling me when I've done something wrong, or admonishing me to do something I know I should do but haven't.

When I am in sin and I know it, or I am being neglectful of my Christian duties (which I hate to tell you, is sin too) and one of my friends (or the hubby) brings it to my attention, why do I react in anger? Why do I think they have no right to tell me how to act?

Because I am a prideful creature. I most likely know I am wrong and just won't admit it.

Oh, I may look like I accept what is being said to me. I have the whole humble face down. But inside I can promise you I am not happy. I am most likely rehearsing the admonisher's past sin in my mind and thinking "How dare they say this to me! Wasn't it just (insert time frame) ago that they were struggling and coming to me for help with a problem? I don't believe this!"

Meanwhile good advice and needed exhortation rolls over the top of my head and right off my back.

Rom 7:18 "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not."

If I truly believe this verse, then I should welcome their admonition, I should happily accept the times when I am told: "Um, you're just plain wrong. The Bible says..." because that's advice on how to perform that which is good. When I don't know what to do on my own, I need someone else to help me. It's fortification of the will to do right. It shows that person cares for me and my spiritual condition.

But do I really believe this verse? Do I want to be exhorted toward righteousness so I can live closer to Christ? Or am I content to make myself look fine on the outside while inside a desperate struggle rages for control of my flesh and domination of my pride?

When will I learn?

Pro 1:5 "A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:"


  • WendyMom

    Ah yes- the struggle of pride. It's one I fight on a daily basis.

    I'll tell you though- going through the anguish of losing a baby has a real way of keeping your pride down. You really realize then that NOTHING on this earth is under your control- and either have to fully trust God or give it up completely. If not, you live a twilight Christianity that is of no use to God or anyone else.

    I comfort myself with the fact that God uses even me- prideful and sinful as I am sometimes- if He waited for us to be perfect, He'd never get anything done!

    Oh, and the answer to you last questions is- when you get to heaven!

    Love you sister- and I've enjoyed our Skypes more than you know! I almost wish your computer was broken more often...

  • WendyMom

    Oh, did I say that out loud?!?!

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