As all kids know, the best and most beautiful rocks are found in the dirtiest places on earth. Very often you'll have to dig for quite a while through mud and other substances before finding one that is truly special. There are certain items you'll need to ensure you have a successful dig:
1. Light colored pants with many pockets. White is always a good option.
2. An area full of trees to guarantee you'll have good digging sticks available.
3. A Mother and/or Father too busy to watch you while you explore.
If you have all these items, I can almost promise you won't be disappointed in your search for the perfect rock(s) to add to your collection. The first step is to scout your location. Look around for fallen limbs, or those that are close to the ground. You want a thick stick, not one of those skinny wimpy ones that won't even scratch the surface of the ground.
If you're near a parking lot, you are definitely in luck. Especially if you live in Africa and the parking lots are just rocks dumped and "smoothed" on the ground. This is a virtual rock-hunter's gold mine. If this is the case, you can abandon the stick and just go for it with your hands.
Try to find rocks large enough to see some detail in, but small enough to fit in your pockets. Every once in a while run up to one of your busy parents and thrust the rocks in their face while yelling "Look what I found- aren't they beautiful?!?!?" Your parents will have no choice but to respond in a positive manner, seeing as how they are surrounded by people they are trying to leave a good impression on.
Run back to the gold mine and search through the rocks one by one. You may have to lie down in order to examine them closely. Feel free to roll from place to place as well, until you are completely covered in dirt. This will be a nice protective coating for your finds, and help them become acclimated to their new (albeit temporary) home in your pocket. Continue searching until your pockets are full. No one likes a lonely rock.
When you get home and your Mother tells you to put all your clothes in the hamper, DO NOT REMOVE THE ROCKS FROM YOUR POCKETS. This could emotionally scar them and cause their attractive sparkliness to fade. Put them directly into the washer still wrapped in the warmth and comfort of your dirt-covered pants.
Then start the wash for your Mom so she won't know they're in there.
By the time she hears the clanking and banging of rocks in the wash it will be too late to stop the cycle, and your rocks will be well on their way to becoming shiny, polished, EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL specimens. Just make sure you remove them before she finds out. Moms sometimes don't understand the delicate emotional needs of rocks, or how sensitive they are to being reprimanded.
Set them on your window sill or dresser near the window so they can be reminded of where they came from, and still see the sun and sky they were used to staring at day in and day out. If you sneak up on them, you may even be able to catch a smile on their face.
Follow these fool-proof steps my friend, and you will be one satisfied rock-preserver.