I Chronicles 29:11 "Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty:for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all."

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Oh These Are the People in My Neighborhood...Part Deux

After leaving 'Devil Dog Radar Zone', we round the corner and enter 'Yipeeville', population: 150 wiener dogs. There are literally so many tiny dogs on that side of our neighborhood that the barking echoes for 300 miles. I mean, kilometres. And yes, I meant to spell it that way because we metrics, that's just how we roll.

Anyhoona, it would be one thing if the dogs were grizzly bears like Devil Dog. Then the barking would be more likely to induce fear. But the wiener dogs? They bark so hard their little bodies lift off the ground. And who can quake with fear when the source of ALL THE NOISE is wearing a rainbow pom pom sweater with matching beret?

I jest not.

Oh the walks here, they are fun.

And loud.

So after making it unscathed through 'Yippeeville', we come to the house of the 'People with No Emotion'. They're always outside like they have nothing better to do, and they stare at anyone and anything that passes by. But they never react. EVER.

My kids are sweet. Adorable, even. They can elicit smiles from the grumpiest of grumps. But these people? They're like the guards at Buckingham Palace. They don't even blink. My girls will wave, show their best dimply smiles, and get...nothin'. I'll say "Howzit?", which means 'How are you this lovely day I hope your family is well and you are blessed.' (Ok I may have made that up.) Not even a threatening look from them.

I'm tempted to pull out a gun and demand all their money. Or drive my car through their living room. Or throw in a grenade during supper time. But I doubt even that would get a response.

Just blank stare after blank stare after blank stare. I don't even know if they're alive. Maybe on our next walk I should bring my Chinese yo-yo and fling it at their face. Maybe then they'll give me a mini-flinch or something.

Wait! I just had an epiphany! They must have taken my advice and had wax figures of themselves made! They do sort of lean against the garage wall....

It's the only logical explanation.

Well, tune in again tomorrow for the final installment. I guarantee you'll feel right at home.


  • author

    We had several slavic grandmas who used to sit on a bench in front of our apartment building like stone - or wax - or wax & stone combos. Until my mother visited. She couldn't speak Czech and was breaking all the social rules in this country and made it her mission to get these women to smile at her. Oh my! Nancy Motley on a mission to get wax to smile!

    It took her nearly a month of working on them every day while I was at my language class but at the end they broke down. Just before she left the country. I secretly believe they broke down thinking she wouldn't leave the country until they did!

    So arm yourself with the attitude of Nancy Motley on a mission - break all social norms - and apply yourself daily for a month...a smile might come your way!

    Andrea Pitcher

  • JulieMom

    Andrea- That's good advice! Hmm...I remember the first time I met your Mom. She was at the drinking fountain in the lobby of the old building, with me in line behind her, and her slip fell right down to the floor!

    Of course she made like it wasn't a big deal, and introduced me to everyone at the retreat by telling the story. I laughed so hard...

    Maybe I'll try some of her tactics. :0) You never know; it's just so crazy it might work!

  • Mary

    Mmmm!!!! Nice photo.

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