After leaving 'Devil Dog Radar Zone', we round the corner and enter 'Yipeeville', population: 150 wiener dogs. There are literally so many tiny dogs on that side of our neighborhood that the barking echoes for 300 miles. I mean, kilometres. And yes, I meant to spell it that way because we metrics, that's just how we roll.
Anyhoona, it would be one thing if the dogs were grizzly bears like Devil Dog. Then the barking would be more likely to induce fear. But the wiener dogs? They bark so hard their little bodies lift off the ground. And who can quake with fear when the source of ALL THE NOISE is wearing a rainbow pom pom sweater with matching beret?
I jest not.
Oh the walks here, they are fun.
So after making it unscathed through 'Yippeeville', we come to the house of the 'People with No Emotion'. They're always outside like they have nothing better to do, and they stare at anyone and anything that passes by. But they never react. EVER.
My kids are sweet. Adorable, even. They can elicit smiles from the grumpiest of grumps. But these people? They're like the guards at Buckingham Palace. They don't even blink. My girls will wave, show their best dimply smiles, and get...nothin'. I'll say "Howzit?", which means 'How are you this lovely day I hope your family is well and you are blessed.' (Ok I may have made that up.) Not even a threatening look from them.
I'm tempted to pull out a gun and demand all their money. Or drive my car through their living room. Or throw in a grenade during supper time. But I doubt even that would get a response.
Just blank stare after blank stare after blank stare. I don't even know if they're alive. Maybe on our next walk I should bring my Chinese yo-yo and fling it at their face. Maybe then they'll give me a mini-flinch or something.
Wait! I just had an epiphany! They must have taken my advice and had wax figures of themselves made! They do sort of lean against the garage wall....
It's the only logical explanation.
Well, tune in again tomorrow for the final installment. I guarantee you'll feel right at home.