I Chronicles 29:11 "Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty:for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all."

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

More Fun People in Our Neighborhood

When we round the curve at the "bottom" of our neighborhood, (and by "bottom" I mean the lower end of the hill, not the "ghetto") we are welcomed by the "House of the Only People in Existence".

What?!? Does that mean the rest of us are a figment of someone else's imagination and because of this could have our very existence wiped out and disappear at any moment?

No. It means these people are rude and think they are the only people on earth.

They drive into the complex at 60 kilometers an hour, sunglasses firmly in place even on a rainy day, with FUN and EXCITING rap music playing. People are diving into the grass left and right clutching their ears. It looks like a scene from the Little Rascals when their go-kart gets a bit out of control and careens through a grocery store parking lot.

But do the Only People In Existence notice? Of course not. They squeal their tires on the way into their driveway, because they are 'large and in charge'. And since they're the only people in the universe, they can do what they like.

And just in case, on the very remote chance there may be someone else in the universe, they must think "Why not let them enjoy the party that is 'Deafness by Bass Booster?" So they keep their pimped-out sub woofer-filled trunk open while the boosters are rattlin' the windows and every bone in their body, just in case you want to hear it too.

And since us non-existent-type people don't mind, they figure they can just leave the "music" on and go inside and cook dinner, watch a movie, and get on with their lives. Even if they don't plan on returning to the party-pumpin' car until November.

I know, I hit the neighbor jackpot.

Please won't you be my neighbor?

There are at least six houses for sale here, and I need someone to share the pain.



  • Mary

    You think your neighbors are freaky? Ten years ago I had a neighbour who dug up this gigantic hole in his yard between the hours of midnight and 2am. He then proceeded to burn his rubbish. This was followed by an abusive recital of The Australian National Anthem as he raised his hand made flag (a cross between our national flag and the Nazi symbol). Around about 4.30am he would run the vacuum cleaner over his lino floors, all the time banging up against our bedroom wall (we lived in one of those ultra modern terrace asylums). In order to get a great view of the sun coming up he would grab a bottle (or two) of beer and sit on the ledge in front of his upstairs bedroom( Our ledges where connected). The only reprise we got was every few weeks he was either arrested or went on a walk-about. Still, I felt reasonable safe because he precariously carried an axe in his pants belt. During the day he filled the hole with the help of a few of his drinking / druggy pals.

    Got out of there as soon as I could. Didn't sleep soundly for 2 years.

    Neighbor from HELL!

  • Brenda

    HEY! The Only People in Existences' relatives live across the street from me and the subwoofers ONLY come out when my children are in bed. Nap, bedtime...whatever.


  • WendyMom

    Girl, you didn't have to go all the way to Africa to hear all that- you could've stayed right here in the good ole U.S. of A.!

    I think you've officially gotten my "Most Bravest Person Award" today- you really deserve it.

    Still in CA- HOT HOT HOT_ you know it's bad when there is a "heat warning" on the news for, and I'm not making this up, every geographic/geologic area represented in California- beaches, desert, vally, coastal plains and inland areas. Who knew that was even necessary?

    Love you-

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