I Chronicles 29:11 "Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty:for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all."

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Deep Thought Thursday: Spiritual Funkiness

Psalm 145:8, 9 "The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.
(9) The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works."

I must admit that there are times (since being on the mission field) that I slip into a funk. I don't want to read my Bible, I don't feel like praying, I don't want to kiss my husband or see my children. I want to stay in my pajamas all day and stare out the window, or read, or wander aimlessly around the internet while my children and hubby fend for themselves.

Being the control freak that I am, I always look for a common denominator. Why is this happening now? And I have noticed the timing is near the start of something new in the ministry, or after something great has just happened, or I've had a really great reading streak and have gotten a lot out of my Bible.

During these times of funk, I often wonder what I've done to cause it, and I start to doubt why God allowed me to come to the mission field at all, seeing as how I have such funk issues.

And then you know what happens?

God reminds me that He loves me. When the fog starts to clear, I remember somewhere deep in the recesses of my soul that I am His child and nothing can change that. He knows I need a little boost, and He graciously sends it to me.

And it may sound funny, but this time it came in the form of free books. I am a member of Paperback Swap, and I had recently purchased some credits to get books for my girls. One of the people I ordered a book from offered me another in the series I was ordering because it would save her shipping. We got to talking, and came to find out (through email) that she is a Christian. She found out I don't have any book credits, and sent me four. One for each of the girls, and one for me.

Now, if any of you know how much I LOVE to read, you would see where this would bless my heart. This woman, a complete stranger, reached out and showed a little Christian love, and I haven't been able to stop shaking my head in disbelief. I think it is extremely generous to give someone credits from this site. (paperbackswap.com)

And it may seem insignificant to you, but to me it was like God looking down from Heaven and saying: "Girl, you think I'd turn my back because of a little funk? Oh, you have so much to learn. I love you no matter what. Remember how I wooed you for ten years to make sure you knew in you heart and not just your head that I gave my Son for you? And I'm just gonna love on you a little extra today because I can see you need it. So here. Take this as a sign of my love, and smile a little bit."

And you know what? I haven't been able to stop. The funk is gone, and I feel better. Not because of the books, but because of what they symbolize: God loves me, and even when I don't feel like loving Him back, He is gracious and gentle.

Psalm 72:18 "Blessed be the LORD God, the God of Israel, who only doeth wondrous things."

3 Comments:

  • Janice

    Thank you for the honesty, and the encouragement!

  • WendyMom

    AMEN! Isn't it amazing how quickly we forget about the loving generosity of our Abba Father in heaven? We're so quick to see His righteous wrath, but far less likely to accept that even on our worst days He looks upon us with love and compassion.

    Thanks for the encouragement- I needed it today!

  • Sabrina

    I get into the same type of "funks" you described here. It's always refreshing to know that God is faithful and will reveal His tenderness to us in so many unique & wonderful ways.

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