I Chronicles 29:11 "Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty:for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all."

Friday, May 02, 2008

Foodie Friday

Today's Recipe fits right in here with 'Sarcasm Week'. I mentioned a helpful tip for new moms earlier this week about having their kids help in the kitchen by watching boiling water. I then got to thinking: "Hmm, maybe these moms don't know how to boil water. I am doing them a great disservice. I will post a recipe on how to boil water."

Therefore today I bring you: JulieMom's Guide to Boiling Water

1. Choose your favorite small pot. When removing it from the place where the pots live in your kitchen, be sure to hold it with a firm grip. You don't want it to fall and compromise the safety of the other pots, or cause a ding or dent in its own flesh. Remember, safety first! (Disregard the unflattering reflection of the photographer in the pot lid.)


2. Fill the pot halfway with water. When filling the pot, again, use adequate strength of grip to prevent it from slipping from your hands and breaking the dirty plates piled in the sink. On second thought, let it crash. Then go out and buy new dishes.


3. Double check that you haven't used toilet water by mistake. While it may be convenient to take your small pot and fill it up by scooping water from the, uh, other larger pot- it is totally unsanitary and should only be used when cooking for people you don't like.
4. Set the pot on a back burner of the stove. Using a counter clockwise method, turn the handle to approximately two o'clock. This ensures the pot cannot be accidentally knocked onto the floor by little hands, or quickly grabbed by an angry spouse in a fight.


5. Turn the burner to the highest setting. Do not, I repeat do NOT remove the pot and touch the heat source to see if the burner is heating up. This is especially important if you are using a gas stove.

6. Set your child on the counter near the pot, but not near enough to get burned. Unless you are trying to teach them an object lesson by having them touch it so they learn not to do it again. In that case, you may want to move the pot and set them directly on the burner. If not, just have them watch. And watch. And watch. And watch. And watch.

7. If you have properly trained your child, they should inform you the first nanosecond they see bubbles in the water.

8. Promptly remove your child from the counter (or burner as the case may be) and remove the pot from the heat.

9. Dump the water down the drain.
And there you have it. My conscience is cleared, and you have a brand new recipe to add to your vast collection. Next week we'll move on to cooking actual food. Unless the sarcasm remains. Then, who knows what will happen. See you then!!

4 Comments:

  • Victoria

    Don't touch the burner? Now you tell me. Don't worry - my hand is healing nicely.

    I love sarcasm.

  • Brenda

    I would have loved to have heard this conversation.

    "Sweetie, come here."
    "Yes Mommy?"
    "Here. I'm going to put you up here and take a picture. Now watch the water. Pretend to be bored."
    "Um, why Mommy?"
    "It's for the blog, OK?"

  • JulieMom

    Victoria- Oh if only I had known I would have posted this yesterday! So sorry. Glad to hear you're healing.

    Brenda- But she's a fine actress, ain't?

  • Mary

    All these years and I have been doing this completely wrong!!

    Sarcastic? Who me? Yeah riiight! ;)

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