I Chronicles 29:11 "Thine, O LORD, is the greatness, and the power, and the glory, and the victory, and the majesty:for all that is in the heaven and in the earth is thine; thine is the kingdom, O LORD, and thou art exalted as head above all."

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

If I Were A Man With A Mole I'd Be Dead By Now

Have you ever wondered how you would survive if you were a member of the opposite sex? I think I would be a very frightening man. I am irrational and illogical, and would be thrown out of the Manly Man Club for sure. And told by other manly men in mean voices not to come back. Which would make me cry. Because I'm all about the acceptance of others.

Which is not very manly.


I shaved my legs yesterday. Out of necessity, not because I woke up with the intense desire to rid myself of skin below the knees. The carnage always surprises me, because I try to be careful. I really do. But with all the banging on the door from the children who need something every other second, it makes one jumpy. And when jumpy and razor combine, it equals nicks. And gashes. And gaping wounds.

Oh my.

So, as I was tending to my wounds after my shower, I had the thought that if I were a man, I would look ridiculous after shaving. I'm sure there isn't enough toilet paper in the house to stem the flow of bleeding that would occur. And being the sensitive and self-conscious person I am, I don't think I could handle the stares on the way to the office.

If there were a mole on my imaginary manly facial region, I am sure it would be shaved off in an instant. I would probably bleed to death before being missed.

Because I would be a man, and therefore not the Mom. So no one would be banging on the door.

Hence the bleeding to death and all.

So the moral of the story is I'm glad I'm not a man.

I am sure the Prince is too.


  • Brenda

    Thank you very much. If you were the dad there would be NO banging on the door. You are so right.

    I was busy doing something with both hands the other day in the living room and talking on the phone. My 8 year old walked in and asked me to get a knot out of something. I think I had something in my teeth and said, "Why would you come ask me that? Why would you not ask your Dad?"

    She said, "He's busy."

    At which point my husband who was sitting in his chair staring at the TV up until that point, fell over laughing. I mean, he wasn't even flipping channels!!!!

  • Victoria

    Definitely would much rather give birth than take a sharp blade to my face.

  • WendyMom

    Um, between the sticker post, and this one I'm starting to worry that the climate in Africa may be affecting your brain function?

    I'm scared for you girl.....

    Too true, the men never get interrupted in the bathroom, maybe because of the smell...??? I'm just sayin'!

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