The Road Less Traveled (has no good potties)
Being missionaries, and having to raise support to eventually leave for the mission field, we have driven A LOT. There are tons of churches out there to visit, and many ways to get to those churches. (That is not the same as saying there are many roads to God.) DO.NOT.GO.THERE.WITH.ME....'kay?
Anyway, when you've driven the main highway in the state where I live many times, you tend to think the scenery stagnant, bland, coma-inducing. Know what I mean? So, we were going to travel to a church in PA, and instead of taking the normal route, the Prince tells me we will be going the scenic route. And while it is beautiful, he assures me it also will save time because the main route..blah blah (insert man-logic here) blah blah blah. I am all for snapping some good pics from my perch in the marshmallow van, so I don't really need any convincing. I am GOOD TO GO.
At this time in our deputation, our children are small. I'm talking really small. Our oldest is potty trained, but can't hold it for long periods of time because well, her bladder is the size of a Robin's egg. Maybe.
Starting off on the scenic route, things are going really well. We are all smiling and happy, with our Kid's Sing Praise CD in the slot, the sun is shining, and THERE ARE NO OTHER CARS AROUND. Could life be any better? Well, only if we had stopped at DQ first and gotten a Caramel Moolatte. So let's pretend we did. Yum!
Oh, and let's pretend that the AC works too...'kay? Great!
So, we're driving along having a great time, anticipating what the Lord will do in the next church we visit, when Sleeping Beauty calls out from the back seat:
"Mama, Mama I need to go POTTY!!"
Me: Ok, no problem. (smiling, happy) Just a few minutes.
SB: Ok. I need to go NOW.
Me: Ok. (smiling but stern) In a minute.
And so we drive along. At this point I am thinking we'll come up on a gas station or bathroom any minute now.... Any Minute Now.....ANY MINUTE NOW....
Hmm...Oh wait! There, look over there...it's a, what is it? Oh, it's a gas station! But it doesn't look like it's open because there is no sign for demarcation purposes, and there is literally NOTHING in the general vicinity that would make me think this would be a place ANYONE would go on purpose. But a potty break we need, and so a potty break we must.
I will not even go into the horrors that awaited us in "the dungeon", but let's just say I'll never look at a milk jug or the phone book the same way again. DON'T ASK.
Needless to say we drove on.
And Sleeping Beauty was being very patient for a smallish person. She only reminded me once every FOUR SECONDS that she was about to burst. Like I didn't know the feeling. After all, we had just finished our Caramel Moolatte. So we drove on. With perhaps a titch more persistence.
Well, the little kid voices on the CD are just starting to become annoying, what with the other little reminder in the back seat, and the sun is becoming obnoxiously hot because, well, we were pretending the AC was working, remember? And also, there are no other cars on the road. I am beginning to think that's a bad thing. Two minutes goes by. Three minutes. Four.
SB: Mama, I need go really BAD. REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY...
Me: Ok! I!GET!IT! Prince, PULL OVER!
Certainly you are not thinking, there is no way you could be thinking WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED AT THIS POINT. All I am going to say is that our Moolatte was gone, REMEMBER? That leaves one very tall, very empty cup. 'Nuff said.
And the scenic route being something we are likely to do again in the near future?
Yeah, NOT SO MUCH.
But here are the pretty pics I was able to get after the insanity settled down.
Well, maybe it was worth all the hoopla after all.